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OPEN LETTER
Our Pagan Elders
Michael R. Gorman
I recently read a post on one of the many Pagan and Druid
internet groups to which I belong from the English Druidess
who hosts the group. In her post Ellen (Evert Hopman) wrote of
her frustration in soliciting help and funds for various Pagan
issues, including the US Veterans Administration' s refusal to
approve the pentacle on the graves of Pagan fallen soldiers,
and a recent fire that had left a Druid in her circle destitute. As
so often happens when Pagans are confronted with real needs,
folks answered her frustration with criticism, blame, excuses,
and lots of great ideas for what she could do to address the
needs she brought up. Sadly, I know for a fact that every
other Pagan leader in the world will recognize this situation. In
response to her apology after the flood of criticism, I wrote my
own response to those who did the criticizing, but I think most
Pagans, if they are honest, will not be able to lay this situation
at the feet of those other Pagans, but will recognize
themselves, and uncomfortably so, in these words. Admitting a
problem is the first step in solving it.
To Ellen and all,
Ellen, as a founder and leader of a large Grove here in partner
and I have worked an amazing number of hours every week,
unfailingly, for 10 years, and the very small and occasional
financial remuneration we have received pales in comparison
to the thousands of dollars of our own money we have
invested in this work. The amount of money and resources we
have been able to collect for various community needs is
embarrassing when compared to even very small
congregations of Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, and
many other faiths. If I dare to complain about this situation,
Pagans who hear me can't decide whether to encourage me to
take even more work upon my own shoulders, or bring back
the Burning Times temporarily, just for me. But I got over my
martyr complex long ago, so I refuse to climb the pile of
wood. We Pagans do not treat our leaders well. Don't
even try to deny it, because you know it is true. We don't treat
our Elders well. We just don't. I once had a woman leave the
Grove even though she felt that it reflected her spirituality
better than anything she had ever known. When I asked her
why she left us and returned to the Jewish temple, she said,
"I'm sorry, Michael, but I can't be a part of a community that
treats is leaders and elders so badly." And our Grove is one of
the better ones in this regard. We have a small group
of dedicated Druids who are taking on more responsibility, and
sadly beginning to experience the same overwork and
frustration their elders have faced. I have to give it to Pagans,
we're consistent. Each of the elder leaders in Sacramento's
Pagan Community has been out of commission at one time or
another, sometimes multiple times, for health issues,
sometimes life threatening, related to overwork and stress,
and not one of them has ever received any substantial money,
food, tender visits, massages, tea and cookies, shoulders to
cry on, flowers, or even physical labor to ease their burden. We
just say we will send some energy (always long distance),
offer nice words of encouragement on the yahoo group, and
wait for them to recover so they can continue to serve us. The
same is true of every national and international leader I know. I
have time to write this response because last November my
doctor
gave me two options: slow down and learn to take care of your
health, or prepare to die of a heart attack very soon. I opted for
learning, at age 51, so be as nurturing of myself as I have been
to others. Even now, I get more calls for help or requests for
my labor or advice than I do calls to inquire about my health
and welfare. Only two people so far have brought over a meal,
and neither of them are Pagans. And I realize now that I am
very used to that. When will we Pagans take a sober and
honest look at ourselves? Perhaps we are afraid of what we
might see. Our magical shops come and go like mushrooms,
while we indignantly point to the lower prices at Wal-Mart. We
have no newspapers anywhere. We have, what?, three or four
magazines in the world, none of which reports news and all of
which struggle from year to year. We have no local magazines.
We have no lists of services by Pagans or Pagan Yellow Pages.
We have no social service organizations. We have no
leadership training seminars. We have one large Pagan
Convention called Pantheacon once a year. We have no
pastoral support organizations. I think we have one seminary
for spiritual leadership training, and that just started recently.
We have no universities, grade schools, high schools,
preschools, or adult education schools. We don't even have
Sunday schools. We have no campgrounds we can rent or
property for our festivals that is Pagan owned and run. We
have no political lobbies. We have no professional services for
our poor or the mentally disabled or physically disabled. We
have no professional or political caucuses. We have no places
of
worship that are handicap accessible. We have nowhere to
take our totem animals when they are sick that understands
their
role in our lives. We have no community centers for meetings.
We have precious few actual places dedicated to our Gods and
Goddesses where we can go to worship, meditate, and share
our faith. We have no resources for helping those in need in
our own community let alone people outside our community
as virtually every single Christian, Jewish, Islamic, Buddhist,
Sikh, etc. church or temple in the world does. Half the time we
don't even meet each other face to face or share something as
simple as a meal. We live most of our community life on line,
which is a bit oxymoronic. I can already hear the thoughts
some of you are thinking. Go ahead, desperately search your
mind for examples of each of the things I have listed. But once
you have your list and your righteous indignation to thrust
under my nose, do a little exercise to put this into perspective.
Ask yourself this: how many churches and temples and
synagogues are within 5 miles of your house that have
classrooms, designated worship space for a community of
believers, offices, meeting rooms, and social services? Now
think; how many such Pagan groups are there within 5 miles of
your house? How about within your city? Your county? How
many within your state? Your country? I am one of the most
connected Pagans I know, and I can name only a handful in the
world, and none of them is well funded or loyally supported
over years by the same people. We turn our noses up at
New Agers, but at least their teachers can make a living at it.
We are so quick to claim superior enlightenment, but don't ask
us to paint a fence or deliver a meal to an elder who is ill! We
all have jobs, after all. We claim to honor the natural world, but
that includes an invocation now and then and a few words
hastily keyboarded into our latest Pagan Google Group, but
certainly not regular tree planting, writing of letters of
environmental advocacy or circulation of petitions (except
those pointless unverifiable on line things), cleaning up the
parks, teaching
a class on trees for Pagan children. How many of us even know
the names of the endangered species who inhabit our area?
How many trees can you point to and say, I planted that! And
actually establishing a social service for Pagans or feeding the
homeless? That's not even on our radar. Besides, we need all
of our own resources for buying bigger and better wands and
staves and magical jewelry! Is there a festival? We're there!
But not during the planning, of course. We are so devoid of any
definitive sense of community that we wouldn't even know
where to donate money and supplies even if we wanted to, and
our leaders are too exhausted to take on another project let
alone spend their time scratching for funds. If one of our sons
or daughters graduates with a professional degree and wants
to serve our community, where would we send that young
professional? To my back yard? To Ellen's? To a yahoo group?
Ask yourself right now. If you needed to mobilize our
community because someone was threatened with stoning or
burning by the KKK or the Aryan Nation, who would you call?
How would you get the word out? What phone number would
you give to the police for a resource to understand the
situation? WitchVox? One overworked web site for the entire
world that half the Pagans in the world don't even know exists?
Your yahoo group? How many of you have read pleas for
support for the Pentacle issue on your yahoo groups?
How many of you did anything except maybe hit the reply
button? If we really want to do something to guarantee that the
Burning Times will never happen again, it certainly isn't
limiting ourselves to groups of 13. While we hide in silence, the
Jerry Falwells of the world are more than happy to fill the void
by teaching the world who we are! We are willing to whine
about our image in the media and elsewhere, but how many of
us have ever written a letter or did a guest lecture at a college,
or held a seminar on Paganism, or offered our homes and
resources so someone else who can do that? The smallest
Christian church in Appalachia offers its pastor a salary, a
place to work, and a place to live. It offers its children a place to
study and learn tradition. It has song books and most often a
choir. It has sacred art and music. It has someone to clean the
church and often the pastor's house as well. What do we offer
our leaders? Squat. Our children? Squat. Our elderly? Squat.
We think because money is used so badly in so many religious
communities that somehow taking care of our own or using our
money for something besides a new ritual robe is tainting our
purity. Well, puffed up pride in our righteous poverty is no
better than puffed up pride over a million dollar sanctuary.
Money controls us in both situations, and the fruit of our labor
is just another brand of religious hypocrisy. We can talk about
respect for all people, the need for justice, the sins of
fundamentalist Christianity, and the corruption of the current
system, but what exactly have we done to counteract these
things? Who have we confronted? How many of us are even
out of the broom closet enough to speak of our beliefs and
defend our beliefs to the world? When we wish to influence
politicians or seek grants, we don't even have any addresses
or phone numbers to offer except a few brave leader's homes.
Doesn't exactly inspire confidence in our cohesiveness and
dependability as a community. When the media does want to
do a fair and educational article on us, who can they call?
Who can they put in their rolodexes who will still be around in a
year to address current issues? Who is the contact person or
organization? Who is the spokeswoman? No wonder all we
ever get is one interview with one dysfunctional witch every
Halloween! But, you say, being out of the broom closet and
honest is so scary!! Yeah? Talk to our children who get bullied
at school about what it is like to be protected by adults who
aren't out of the closet. Listen, I'm an overweight, intellectual
liberal, out of the closet, activist, cantankerous writer/poet/
journalist who is a gay Pagan Druid. I'm a poster boy for who
the right wing should hate. In the fundamentalist dictionary
under them they have my picture. I've had guns in my face.
I've lost jobs because of who I am. I've lost family and friends
because I refused to deny my identity and my beliefs. I've
been threatened and harassed by street punks and police alike.
I have been condemned by preachers and investigated by
organizations and government agencies. I have an FBI file and
a CIA file. I've been spit at and had stones thrown at me. I've
been heckled and booed and jeered at, more times than I can
remember. And my experiences pale in comparison to people
like Starhawk. And you tell me it's scary to tell your family and
a few co-workers that you worship a Goddess as well as a God.
Let me get you some cheese to go with that whine. Let's talk
about the Goddess's protection and if we really believe in it.
Let's talk about our spirit guides and whether or not we actually
trust them. Lets talk about the very real needs of our own
people weighed against our fear driven secrecy. Our own
secrecy hurts us more than any witch hunter ever could
because it strikes at the core of our spirits. Our enemies
cannot imprison our souls, but we can, and we do. Ask yourself
where do we meet as a whole community to offer counseling,
intervention, comfort, exchange of information? Nowhere.
Where do we go for news of Pagans around the world?
Nowhere. Where do we go to rally and support each other
when discrimination or persecution arises? Nowhere. We have
no such places. Do you know why the Veterans Administration
can continue to get away with dishonoring our dead soldiers by
denying them the symbols of their faith? Because there is no
visible constituency demanding otherwise. I can almost hear
the thoughts of the bureaucrats when the few Pagans who
even speak up demand equal treatment:
"For who? Who are you people? I've never even met a Pagan,
let alone had one vote for me! I wouldn't know where to find
one to treat him any kind of way!"
Some of the strongest voices in the debate about the Pentacle
on the soldier's graves were not even Pagans! Why? We are
two busy destroying our own unity by "hiving off," and
disguising our real names and huddling in someone's living
room based upon a fear of persecution that dates back to the
Middle Ages and is today very often just an excuse for people
to not commit for the long haul, or a chance for arrogant and
untrained individuals to create their own little fiefdoms. Even
then, we rarely hive amicably. More often we do so with insults
and threats and magical curses we barely understand. No
wonder the powers that be don't listen to us! They can't even
find us! And no one has to divide and conquer us to achieve
our Marginalization. We do that all by ourselves, so they don't
have to lift a finger. What an insult to the industrious and
cooperative bees that we even use that word hive. Show me a
hive with thirteen bees and I'll show you a dying colony. And
what do we do when anyone in our community calls us on our
selfishness and inattention to our community's needs? We
attack that person or give"helpful suggestions" about what
more that person should do to make it better. I swear our
favorite act of magic is trying to squeeze blood out of a turnip!
Goddess forbid we should ever begin a response to
a need within our community with the words "I will!" or "I can!"
or "I intend to do this!" In what universe does a handful of
individuals have the emotional, physical, and financial
resources to carry an entire community of people who feel no
obligation to their brothers and sisters? How dare anyone bad
mouth Ellen for pointing out the truth and sharing her heartfelt
frustration! You should have your mouth washed out with
essential oil soap! Try doing half of what she does for a year or
two and maybe you will earn the right to respectfully offer a bit
of criticism. But be warned, by then, if you survive it, you will
be wise enough to honor her instead.
And mark this. There is only so far we can progress as a
community by being mutually pissed off at Christianity! There
is a reason we are languishing in the backwaters of the land of
spiritual communities. We don't care enough about our own
people to do otherwise. We do not pass our tradition on to our
children with schools, kids rituals, or even permission to
participate, and we wonder why every time a Pagan group
starts it has to start from scratch! We wonder why teenagers
resort to the Goth world. Where the hell else are they going
to go? Most of our groups ban underage people. Again the fear.
And our groups fade as quickly as they pop up, usually
because yet another leader burns out, or some arrogant
wanna-be leader initiates a petty witch war. We don't pass
anything on to our children because we have built nothing
substantial to pass along. Oh, but you say, we have created our
work in the spiritual realm! We don't need to bother ourselves
with the mundane world. Really? The unseen realms are filled
with our good works? Well I have internal senses that are fairly
well developed, so show me. Point them out. Describe them
for me. Tell me where they are. Tell me how they affect our
lives. Let me see them. Give me a tour. Where are they?
Show me. Give me something besides your righteous
indignation that I had the audacity to hold up a mirror for us to
look into. My mother had an expression for this: "He's so
heavenly minded that he's no earthly good." So if we have
done these great works, where are they? Show them to me.
Show me the ones you have personally done. Better yet, show
the Pagan child who can't wear her pentacle at school. Show
the Pagan family that has no food on the shelves. Show the
single Pagan mother who fears for her life with no one to turn
to in her conservative town if the locals should learn about her
faith. Show the Pagan who is arrested because of the
assumption of guilt on the part of those Satan worshipers.
Show the teenager desperately seeking a better spiritual path.
Show the dead soldier who has to rest beneath an unadorned
headstone.
I dream of the day when a child in our community can say, "My
grandparents had their handfasting right here in this stone
circle, and I'm going to get married here too." But instead, we
fracture, fight, accuse, deny, ignore, and pompously claim
some sort of transcendental spiritual superiority. That and a
buck fifty will get you a bad coffee at Starbucks.
When My Lady, when?
I am reminded of a scene in the movie Brother Sun, Sister
Moon in which Saint Francis of Assisi is out in the snowy
countryside with few clothes and no shoes, lovingly rebuilding
a ruined church for the poor, stone by stone. One of his rich
buddies from his past rides out from the town of Assisi and
sees Francis working. While Francis continues his labor, the
friend follows him and philosophizes about his own
spiritual emptiness and how much he admires Francis's
simplicity and dedication to a dream and a hope. Following
Francis back and forth between the rock pile and the stone wall
as Francis compassionately includes a young paraplegic in the
work by looking to him to nod his head to show where the
stone should be placed, the friend finally says passionately, "I
want to help you, Francis! Tell me what I can do to help you!
Something needs to be done! How can I help?" Francis smiles,
amused at his friend's thick-headedness and inability to see
the work going on right below his nose. He replies, "Words,
Bernardo! There was a time when I believed in words!" A
modern paraphrase of that tender line might be: "You want to
help? Then shut up and pick up a stone! Hellooo!" If our leaders
have earned nothing else, we at least have earned the right to
bitch about our situation. You want to object to that? You feel
put upon? Reprimanded unfairly? Fine! Pick up that stone
and finish that wall. When you are done, we'll talk.
You want to help? Then shut up and pick up a stone. Put a
cornerstone where your mouth is.
If you think I'm being too harsh, well deal! I'm a Druid, not a
Hallmark card.
Most sincerely,
Michael R. Gorman
Druid
Michael R. Gorman
I recently read a post on one of the many Pagan and Druid
internet groups to which I belong from the English Druidess
who hosts the group. In her post Ellen (Evert Hopman) wrote of
her frustration in soliciting help and funds for various Pagan
issues, including the US Veterans Administration' s refusal to
approve the pentacle on the graves of Pagan fallen soldiers,
and a recent fire that had left a Druid in her circle destitute. As
so often happens when Pagans are confronted with real needs,
folks answered her frustration with criticism, blame, excuses,
and lots of great ideas for what she could do to address the
needs she brought up. Sadly, I know for a fact that every
other Pagan leader in the world will recognize this situation. In
response to her apology after the flood of criticism, I wrote my
own response to those who did the criticizing, but I think most
Pagans, if they are honest, will not be able to lay this situation
at the feet of those other Pagans, but will recognize
themselves, and uncomfortably so, in these words. Admitting a
problem is the first step in solving it.
To Ellen and all,
Ellen, as a founder and leader of a large Grove here in partner
and I have worked an amazing number of hours every week,
unfailingly, for 10 years, and the very small and occasional
financial remuneration we have received pales in comparison
to the thousands of dollars of our own money we have
invested in this work. The amount of money and resources we
have been able to collect for various community needs is
embarrassing when compared to even very small
congregations of Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, and
many other faiths. If I dare to complain about this situation,
Pagans who hear me can't decide whether to encourage me to
take even more work upon my own shoulders, or bring back
the Burning Times temporarily, just for me. But I got over my
martyr complex long ago, so I refuse to climb the pile of
wood. We Pagans do not treat our leaders well. Don't
even try to deny it, because you know it is true. We don't treat
our Elders well. We just don't. I once had a woman leave the
Grove even though she felt that it reflected her spirituality
better than anything she had ever known. When I asked her
why she left us and returned to the Jewish temple, she said,
"I'm sorry, Michael, but I can't be a part of a community that
treats is leaders and elders so badly." And our Grove is one of
the better ones in this regard. We have a small group
of dedicated Druids who are taking on more responsibility, and
sadly beginning to experience the same overwork and
frustration their elders have faced. I have to give it to Pagans,
we're consistent. Each of the elder leaders in Sacramento's
Pagan Community has been out of commission at one time or
another, sometimes multiple times, for health issues,
sometimes life threatening, related to overwork and stress,
and not one of them has ever received any substantial money,
food, tender visits, massages, tea and cookies, shoulders to
cry on, flowers, or even physical labor to ease their burden. We
just say we will send some energy (always long distance),
offer nice words of encouragement on the yahoo group, and
wait for them to recover so they can continue to serve us. The
same is true of every national and international leader I know. I
have time to write this response because last November my
doctor
gave me two options: slow down and learn to take care of your
health, or prepare to die of a heart attack very soon. I opted for
learning, at age 51, so be as nurturing of myself as I have been
to others. Even now, I get more calls for help or requests for
my labor or advice than I do calls to inquire about my health
and welfare. Only two people so far have brought over a meal,
and neither of them are Pagans. And I realize now that I am
very used to that. When will we Pagans take a sober and
honest look at ourselves? Perhaps we are afraid of what we
might see. Our magical shops come and go like mushrooms,
while we indignantly point to the lower prices at Wal-Mart. We
have no newspapers anywhere. We have, what?, three or four
magazines in the world, none of which reports news and all of
which struggle from year to year. We have no local magazines.
We have no lists of services by Pagans or Pagan Yellow Pages.
We have no social service organizations. We have no
leadership training seminars. We have one large Pagan
Convention called Pantheacon once a year. We have no
pastoral support organizations. I think we have one seminary
for spiritual leadership training, and that just started recently.
We have no universities, grade schools, high schools,
preschools, or adult education schools. We don't even have
Sunday schools. We have no campgrounds we can rent or
property for our festivals that is Pagan owned and run. We
have no political lobbies. We have no professional services for
our poor or the mentally disabled or physically disabled. We
have no professional or political caucuses. We have no places
of
worship that are handicap accessible. We have nowhere to
take our totem animals when they are sick that understands
their
role in our lives. We have no community centers for meetings.
We have precious few actual places dedicated to our Gods and
Goddesses where we can go to worship, meditate, and share
our faith. We have no resources for helping those in need in
our own community let alone people outside our community
as virtually every single Christian, Jewish, Islamic, Buddhist,
Sikh, etc. church or temple in the world does. Half the time we
don't even meet each other face to face or share something as
simple as a meal. We live most of our community life on line,
which is a bit oxymoronic. I can already hear the thoughts
some of you are thinking. Go ahead, desperately search your
mind for examples of each of the things I have listed. But once
you have your list and your righteous indignation to thrust
under my nose, do a little exercise to put this into perspective.
Ask yourself this: how many churches and temples and
synagogues are within 5 miles of your house that have
classrooms, designated worship space for a community of
believers, offices, meeting rooms, and social services? Now
think; how many such Pagan groups are there within 5 miles of
your house? How about within your city? Your county? How
many within your state? Your country? I am one of the most
connected Pagans I know, and I can name only a handful in the
world, and none of them is well funded or loyally supported
over years by the same people. We turn our noses up at
New Agers, but at least their teachers can make a living at it.
We are so quick to claim superior enlightenment, but don't ask
us to paint a fence or deliver a meal to an elder who is ill! We
all have jobs, after all. We claim to honor the natural world, but
that includes an invocation now and then and a few words
hastily keyboarded into our latest Pagan Google Group, but
certainly not regular tree planting, writing of letters of
environmental advocacy or circulation of petitions (except
those pointless unverifiable on line things), cleaning up the
parks, teaching
a class on trees for Pagan children. How many of us even know
the names of the endangered species who inhabit our area?
How many trees can you point to and say, I planted that! And
actually establishing a social service for Pagans or feeding the
homeless? That's not even on our radar. Besides, we need all
of our own resources for buying bigger and better wands and
staves and magical jewelry! Is there a festival? We're there!
But not during the planning, of course. We are so devoid of any
definitive sense of community that we wouldn't even know
where to donate money and supplies even if we wanted to, and
our leaders are too exhausted to take on another project let
alone spend their time scratching for funds. If one of our sons
or daughters graduates with a professional degree and wants
to serve our community, where would we send that young
professional? To my back yard? To Ellen's? To a yahoo group?
Ask yourself right now. If you needed to mobilize our
community because someone was threatened with stoning or
burning by the KKK or the Aryan Nation, who would you call?
How would you get the word out? What phone number would
you give to the police for a resource to understand the
situation? WitchVox? One overworked web site for the entire
world that half the Pagans in the world don't even know exists?
Your yahoo group? How many of you have read pleas for
support for the Pentacle issue on your yahoo groups?
How many of you did anything except maybe hit the reply
button? If we really want to do something to guarantee that the
Burning Times will never happen again, it certainly isn't
limiting ourselves to groups of 13. While we hide in silence, the
Jerry Falwells of the world are more than happy to fill the void
by teaching the world who we are! We are willing to whine
about our image in the media and elsewhere, but how many of
us have ever written a letter or did a guest lecture at a college,
or held a seminar on Paganism, or offered our homes and
resources so someone else who can do that? The smallest
Christian church in Appalachia offers its pastor a salary, a
place to work, and a place to live. It offers its children a place to
study and learn tradition. It has song books and most often a
choir. It has sacred art and music. It has someone to clean the
church and often the pastor's house as well. What do we offer
our leaders? Squat. Our children? Squat. Our elderly? Squat.
We think because money is used so badly in so many religious
communities that somehow taking care of our own or using our
money for something besides a new ritual robe is tainting our
purity. Well, puffed up pride in our righteous poverty is no
better than puffed up pride over a million dollar sanctuary.
Money controls us in both situations, and the fruit of our labor
is just another brand of religious hypocrisy. We can talk about
respect for all people, the need for justice, the sins of
fundamentalist Christianity, and the corruption of the current
system, but what exactly have we done to counteract these
things? Who have we confronted? How many of us are even
out of the broom closet enough to speak of our beliefs and
defend our beliefs to the world? When we wish to influence
politicians or seek grants, we don't even have any addresses
or phone numbers to offer except a few brave leader's homes.
Doesn't exactly inspire confidence in our cohesiveness and
dependability as a community. When the media does want to
do a fair and educational article on us, who can they call?
Who can they put in their rolodexes who will still be around in a
year to address current issues? Who is the contact person or
organization? Who is the spokeswoman? No wonder all we
ever get is one interview with one dysfunctional witch every
Halloween! But, you say, being out of the broom closet and
honest is so scary!! Yeah? Talk to our children who get bullied
at school about what it is like to be protected by adults who
aren't out of the closet. Listen, I'm an overweight, intellectual
liberal, out of the closet, activist, cantankerous writer/poet/
journalist who is a gay Pagan Druid. I'm a poster boy for who
the right wing should hate. In the fundamentalist dictionary
under them they have my picture. I've had guns in my face.
I've lost jobs because of who I am. I've lost family and friends
because I refused to deny my identity and my beliefs. I've
been threatened and harassed by street punks and police alike.
I have been condemned by preachers and investigated by
organizations and government agencies. I have an FBI file and
a CIA file. I've been spit at and had stones thrown at me. I've
been heckled and booed and jeered at, more times than I can
remember. And my experiences pale in comparison to people
like Starhawk. And you tell me it's scary to tell your family and
a few co-workers that you worship a Goddess as well as a God.
Let me get you some cheese to go with that whine. Let's talk
about the Goddess's protection and if we really believe in it.
Let's talk about our spirit guides and whether or not we actually
trust them. Lets talk about the very real needs of our own
people weighed against our fear driven secrecy. Our own
secrecy hurts us more than any witch hunter ever could
because it strikes at the core of our spirits. Our enemies
cannot imprison our souls, but we can, and we do. Ask yourself
where do we meet as a whole community to offer counseling,
intervention, comfort, exchange of information? Nowhere.
Where do we go for news of Pagans around the world?
Nowhere. Where do we go to rally and support each other
when discrimination or persecution arises? Nowhere. We have
no such places. Do you know why the Veterans Administration
can continue to get away with dishonoring our dead soldiers by
denying them the symbols of their faith? Because there is no
visible constituency demanding otherwise. I can almost hear
the thoughts of the bureaucrats when the few Pagans who
even speak up demand equal treatment:
"For who? Who are you people? I've never even met a Pagan,
let alone had one vote for me! I wouldn't know where to find
one to treat him any kind of way!"
Some of the strongest voices in the debate about the Pentacle
on the soldier's graves were not even Pagans! Why? We are
two busy destroying our own unity by "hiving off," and
disguising our real names and huddling in someone's living
room based upon a fear of persecution that dates back to the
Middle Ages and is today very often just an excuse for people
to not commit for the long haul, or a chance for arrogant and
untrained individuals to create their own little fiefdoms. Even
then, we rarely hive amicably. More often we do so with insults
and threats and magical curses we barely understand. No
wonder the powers that be don't listen to us! They can't even
find us! And no one has to divide and conquer us to achieve
our Marginalization. We do that all by ourselves, so they don't
have to lift a finger. What an insult to the industrious and
cooperative bees that we even use that word hive. Show me a
hive with thirteen bees and I'll show you a dying colony. And
what do we do when anyone in our community calls us on our
selfishness and inattention to our community's needs? We
attack that person or give"helpful suggestions" about what
more that person should do to make it better. I swear our
favorite act of magic is trying to squeeze blood out of a turnip!
Goddess forbid we should ever begin a response to
a need within our community with the words "I will!" or "I can!"
or "I intend to do this!" In what universe does a handful of
individuals have the emotional, physical, and financial
resources to carry an entire community of people who feel no
obligation to their brothers and sisters? How dare anyone bad
mouth Ellen for pointing out the truth and sharing her heartfelt
frustration! You should have your mouth washed out with
essential oil soap! Try doing half of what she does for a year or
two and maybe you will earn the right to respectfully offer a bit
of criticism. But be warned, by then, if you survive it, you will
be wise enough to honor her instead.
And mark this. There is only so far we can progress as a
community by being mutually pissed off at Christianity! There
is a reason we are languishing in the backwaters of the land of
spiritual communities. We don't care enough about our own
people to do otherwise. We do not pass our tradition on to our
children with schools, kids rituals, or even permission to
participate, and we wonder why every time a Pagan group
starts it has to start from scratch! We wonder why teenagers
resort to the Goth world. Where the hell else are they going
to go? Most of our groups ban underage people. Again the fear.
And our groups fade as quickly as they pop up, usually
because yet another leader burns out, or some arrogant
wanna-be leader initiates a petty witch war. We don't pass
anything on to our children because we have built nothing
substantial to pass along. Oh, but you say, we have created our
work in the spiritual realm! We don't need to bother ourselves
with the mundane world. Really? The unseen realms are filled
with our good works? Well I have internal senses that are fairly
well developed, so show me. Point them out. Describe them
for me. Tell me where they are. Tell me how they affect our
lives. Let me see them. Give me a tour. Where are they?
Show me. Give me something besides your righteous
indignation that I had the audacity to hold up a mirror for us to
look into. My mother had an expression for this: "He's so
heavenly minded that he's no earthly good." So if we have
done these great works, where are they? Show them to me.
Show me the ones you have personally done. Better yet, show
the Pagan child who can't wear her pentacle at school. Show
the Pagan family that has no food on the shelves. Show the
single Pagan mother who fears for her life with no one to turn
to in her conservative town if the locals should learn about her
faith. Show the Pagan who is arrested because of the
assumption of guilt on the part of those Satan worshipers.
Show the teenager desperately seeking a better spiritual path.
Show the dead soldier who has to rest beneath an unadorned
headstone.
I dream of the day when a child in our community can say, "My
grandparents had their handfasting right here in this stone
circle, and I'm going to get married here too." But instead, we
fracture, fight, accuse, deny, ignore, and pompously claim
some sort of transcendental spiritual superiority. That and a
buck fifty will get you a bad coffee at Starbucks.
When My Lady, when?
I am reminded of a scene in the movie Brother Sun, Sister
Moon in which Saint Francis of Assisi is out in the snowy
countryside with few clothes and no shoes, lovingly rebuilding
a ruined church for the poor, stone by stone. One of his rich
buddies from his past rides out from the town of Assisi and
sees Francis working. While Francis continues his labor, the
friend follows him and philosophizes about his own
spiritual emptiness and how much he admires Francis's
simplicity and dedication to a dream and a hope. Following
Francis back and forth between the rock pile and the stone wall
as Francis compassionately includes a young paraplegic in the
work by looking to him to nod his head to show where the
stone should be placed, the friend finally says passionately, "I
want to help you, Francis! Tell me what I can do to help you!
Something needs to be done! How can I help?" Francis smiles,
amused at his friend's thick-headedness and inability to see
the work going on right below his nose. He replies, "Words,
Bernardo! There was a time when I believed in words!" A
modern paraphrase of that tender line might be: "You want to
help? Then shut up and pick up a stone! Hellooo!" If our leaders
have earned nothing else, we at least have earned the right to
bitch about our situation. You want to object to that? You feel
put upon? Reprimanded unfairly? Fine! Pick up that stone
and finish that wall. When you are done, we'll talk.
You want to help? Then shut up and pick up a stone. Put a
cornerstone where your mouth is.
If you think I'm being too harsh, well deal! I'm a Druid, not a
Hallmark card.
Most sincerely,
Michael R. Gorman
Druid